Reservoir 2: A Prayer of Grief and Hope

Reservoir 2

You meet me at the reservoir,

Once again together

Overlooking the pain. 

So much held back.

We behold the sources

The tributaries that fill it

Which one will we navigate,

Held in your love?

Diving deep into troubled waters.

With you

Needing you

Memories wash over me

Feelings, fears, and frames

Looking together,

Seeing each wound

You are here beside me

But also there

Revealed in every frame

You

Affected

Moved to sorrow

Compassion

There with me in it all

You speak

And

Mighty waters flow

Rushing away

Down and to the right

Draining away sorrows

Revealing solid land before us

Drying out

And you

gently planting seeds

That in love will grow

And fill this reservoir within me

© Dale Gish 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Praying With Pain: Thoughts From Spiritual Direction

Praying With Pain: Thoughts From Spiritual Direction

The human body is fragile, and when we are injured or sick, we struggle with pain.  Whether we may be experiencing acute pain or chronic pain it affects us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Let me be clear, pain is not good; it’s not a blessing. Pain is terrible. If you are suffering physical pain, as a disciple seeking to follow God, you can assume that the pain is not from God and God is not punishing you. It’s the evil one who wants you to believe that God is punishing you with this pain, and the evil one will look for any opportunity to use your pain to discourage you and separate you from God. 

But God is a redeemer and always seeks to bring good out of evil. God wants to use your pain for good. So how can God be at work in and through your pain? Here are some thoughts:

1. If you are in pain tell God about it. Pour out your heart to him; express your emotion. You may even find you are angry with God about this pain. It’s fine to be angry with God. God already knows and invites you to tell him. Tell him and then listen, have a dialogue with God.  See what happens. By your conversation, you will be connecting with God in the midst of pain. The evil one hates that. 

2. Pray for healing. Bring your need before God. Experience your need for God and cry out to him. God does not always heal, but you are encouraged to pray for healing and to see what healing he brings. If the Lord does heal you, receive it as a gift and give him praise.

3. This is a bit mystical, but you can ask Jesus to take your pain and merge it with the pain he felt on the cross, to let your pain become a sharing in his pain on the cross. Now your pain connects you even more deeply with Jesus.

4. You may find that in your pain you have been struggling to pray. You may have gone many days without having your regular prayer time. Maybe it’s been a whole week since your last prayers... wonderful!  Now we get to ask... Does God love you less? Of course not! You may be disappointed or ashamed of your lack of prayer, but God is not disappointed in you. You have an opportunity to know that God does not love you for your performance.  You have not been praying and still, God is loving you.

5. Having a life of prayer is hard. Life happens and the realities of our lives make prayer difficult.  The evil one would want you to give up. Instead, pick up your prayer again as you are able. In the midst of your pain, would you rather be close to him and experience his love or be distant and feel unloved?

6. Let God lead you. These are a few suggestions, but God at work in you knows what you need. God is very present to you and knows what you are suffering. Open yourself and let God meet you, let God speak the words you need to hear, to be present to you and to show you love. Let God reveal how he will use this experience of pain to lead you closer to him.

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.

5 Prayer Resources from the Ignatian Exercises

Since doing the Ignatian Exercises a couple of years ago, Ignatian prayer continues to be central to my relationship with God. There are so many resources that are now available to me, that draw me close to the heart of God.  I'll name 5.

1. I know that God is always looking at me with a gaze of love and I get to look at him and receive it. This can take 2 seconds, or I could spend 20 minutes, and it doesn’t need to happen in my devotional time.  It can happen throughout the day.

2. I am always welcomed to have a heart to heart with Jesus. I can speak to Jesus as a friend, and tell him what is on my heart and mind and spirit.  Jesus listens with compassion. I can listen to what he may say to me in return

3. There is great value in stopping periodically in and at the end of each day (Examen) to remember God, to see God’s work and my openness to it, and to discern the spirits at work in and through me. This allows me to recognize what God is doing and is the beginning of discernment.

4. Having experienced some of how Jesus sees and responds to others I am invited to see others through Jesus' eyes. This changes how I see and how I relate to people. It also turns relationships with others into a way to connect with Jesus, as together with him, I see through his eyes.

5. The closing prayer of the Exercises (the Suscipe) is an opportunity to offer myself completely to God. I am welcomed to offer all of myself, even those parts I am not proud of. Giving myself completely to God makes me more open to his work and increases the terrain of freedom in my life. It allows me to be more dependent upon him and receive everything as gift, sustained by his love and grace.

I’m grateful for the gift of life that Jesus offers us.  Let us receive it with joy.

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

These reflections were inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.