REFLECTIONS, POEMS & PRAYERS

Ignatian Discernment with Mandy Smith

Ignatian Discernment: A few thoughts on Christendom and a wonderful video.

There may have been a time when what it means to be a faithful Christian was set in stone, clear, and unshakable. In a time of Christendom, our faith, discipleship, even scripture was unambiguous, abundantly clear, locked down, and completely figured out. This clarity and confidence was likely a lie, a temptation the church has given into for far too long.

Now that Christendom is shattering, we can discover the joy of discernment. When everything is not pinned down and codified, we have the opportunity to discern, to say that we don’t know, that we need God to lead us. We have the opportunity to depend upon God, seek the Father, and discern our loving creator’s will. We may get to rediscover the Holy Spirit, or count on Jesus resurrected and present with us on a daily basis.

As a spiritual director trained in Ignatian discernment I get to walk with people as they ask the real questions of their life, help them notice God’s work and movement in their lives, and discover the joy of a life lived in radical dependence on God, one that is always needing to discern.

In the coming months, you will be hearing more from me about Ignatian discernment as go through the Ignatian Exercises again, and I dive deeper into this theme for myself and in my spiritual direction practice. But for now, I want to share with you this video created by Mandy Smith. This is not overtly Ignatian, but I think you will find it provocative as you consider discernment and seeking the Lord. I’d love to hear any thoughts or responses you may have to this video, the theme of Ignatian discernment or my reflections above.

Enacting Discernment with Mandy Smith

If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.

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Where were you, Jesus? A double-edged question for spiritual healing

Stating the accusatory question, “Where were you, Jesus?” allows them to begin a season of engaging the same question in a new and inquisitive way.

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Many Christians go through life unable to honestly dialogue with God about the disappointments and hurts they carry, overwhelmed by the pain and brokenness of the world and the traumas they have personally survived. We’ve been taught that we have no standing to question God, that everything happens for a purpose.  We may fear that asking the question will start us on a path of deconstruction where we might lose our faith, and besides, talking about these things with God requires a level of intimacy and trust that we may not have or feel ready for. 

As a spiritual director working with someone who has been through significant trauma, loss, or suffering, I want to help them get to a place where they can honestly address their hard questions directly to God in prayer, in their own authentic, unsanitized, messy way. Often a significant step forward is when they can articulate those hard questions to me in a spiritual direction session. Once they are able to articulate these things to me they are almost always able to respond positively to my invitation, “would you be willing to say to God directly what you just said to me?”

They may pray something like, “Where, were you, Jesus, when my mother died, when my parents neglected me, when my church hurt me when systemic injustice was so destructive? I know you are good. I know in my head that you love me. But that flies in the face of my experience. I went through hell and you were not there, you didn’t save me from this suffering, you didn’t intervene.” 

Being able to articulate “Where were you, Jesus?” in prayer, even in an accusatory way, is a huge step forward spiritually because it is a huge step forward in relationship and intimacy with God. If you are a parent and your teenager is mad at you and hiding in their room, refusing to come out, you wish they would just come and talk with you directly. That’s how God feels as well. God wishes the older prodigal son would just come talk to him about his resentments. God longs for us to be willing to address our grievances with him.

When someone brings these hard questions to God, notice that nothing about their trauma has changed and their question has not been answered, but something profound has happened. Saying “Where were you, Jesus?” clears space in their relationship with God, space for God’s work, space for healing, space to listen to God. People typically feel emotionally lighter, with a sense of release. The burden of holding back that question has been heavy, and they often feel immediate relief. I imagine Jesus smiling at them, so glad for this step forward in their relationship. 

Stating their accusatory question, “Where were you, Jesus?” allows them to begin a season of engaging the same question in a new and inquisitive way. “Where were you, Jesus? I didn’t experience you there with me, Jesus, but I want to be able to see how you were with me, how you were at work, there in my time of trial.” 

Jesus is always with us, at work loving us, caring for us. And Jesus has always been there with them, even in their time of trial. Often the directee has already named some of the ways he was with them as they told me their story, people God brought into their lives to support them, ways they were provided for, etc. Asking their accusatory question now gives them space and openness to see anew how God actually was with them. The question “Where were you, Jesus” takes on a whole new meaning. 

Some of the ways that God was with them in their time of struggle will become clear as they review their story asking this new inquisitive version of the question. But God is also alive and speaking to them and may reveal things that were not apparent in their history. Sometimes I invite directees to take some time in silent prayer and listen to see what God might say, and I’m continually amazed at what God does in those times. God may say nothing, but give them a sense of peace. God may tell them that he loves them. God might say that he is so sorry for what happened to them, that he didn’t want that to happen. God might give them an image of him with them during their time of trouble, holding them, weeping with them. Etc, etc.

In my experience, the accusatory question of “Why did you let this happen to me?” often is not directly answered and does not completely go away, but they experience a deep sense of God’s love and care for them, that God has been with them, and the accusatory question no longer is of primary importance. They know God’s love and care for them in a new way. Their relationship is unclogged, and they begin to experience more healing and freedom.

In my own experience, praying the Ignatian Exercises with a daily heart to heart with Jesus has been a context that God used for me to ask this double-edged question. I see now some of the ways God has been using it in my life. But it is an ongoing joy to see God doing this work in my directees, deepening their relationship with God and expanding their terrain of freedom.

© Dale Gish 2020. All Rights Reserved.

If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.

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Book Review: When Narcissism Comes To Church

If you want to keep your head in the sand and not see the emotional and spiritual abuses happening in our churches, don’t buy this book. If you would rather not become more aware of your false self and your own narcissistic tendencies, cancel your order. If you have been trying to avoid acknowledging and healing from your wounds from narcissism, there are thousands of other books to choose from. If you enjoy throwing your hands in the air and saying narcissism is narcissism and there is nothing to be done about it, then delete this book from your Kindle.

In an individualistic society with a lot of individual and corporate brokenness, it’s not surprising that most of us can recount painful stories about people who have used us and wounded us, showing little concern for the damage they have done. We find it in our families, at our jobs, in our politics, and yes, even in our churches. We may not understand the psychological diagnostic criteria, its causes, or its treatment, but we have experienced the destruction and havoc narcissism causes. 

Chuck DeGroat’s new book, When Narcissism Comes To Church: Healing Your Community From Spiritual and Emotional Abuse published by InterVarsity Press, is an important resource for individual Christians and churches who want to understand, protect themselves from, and recover from the wounds of narcissism. It’s accessible for church leaders and congregants, providing us with a wealth of insight and a helpful framework on how to respond, and is deeply grounded in a vision of God’s ongoing work of healing and restoration. 

Are you the kind of person who should not read this book? Here is a helpful guide: If you want to keep your head in the sand and not see the emotional and spiritual abuses happening in our churches, don’t buy this book. If you would rather not become more aware of your false self and your own narcissistic tendencies, cancel your order. If you have been trying to avoid acknowledging and healing from your wounds from narcissism, there are thousands of other books to choose from. If you enjoy throwing your hands in the air and saying narcissism is narcissism and there is nothing to be done about it, then delete this book from your Kindle.  

But for the rest of us, this challenging book is well worth reading. This book helps us in so many ways: to better understand narcissism, to recognize the damage it causes in our churches, to become more self-aware of our own narcissism, as a step towards our own healing, to envision what a road to redemption might look like for the narcissist. 

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Chuck DeGroat

A Wise Counselor, Teacher and Spiritual Director

Chuck Degroat has a lot of wisdom to share on the subject. He is a licensed therapist, a professor of counseling and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland MI, and a spiritual director. For years, Chuck has been counseling both narcissists as well as those who have been victimized by them, and brings their stories to life, to help us understand the realities of narcissism and the consequences for families and churches.

A fascinating feature of this book is that DeGroat looks at narcissism through the lens of the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a tool for self-understanding and for examining the false self, which has nine basic types, and then many more subtypes as you get deeper into it. DeGroat takes these nine Enneagram types and looks at how narcissism gets played out for each of the nine types. Since most of us have some tendencies towards narcissism, it is fascinating to read through each type and to notice how your Enneagram type lives out Narcissism. The section on each Enneagram type also includes a story of a narcissist of that type. You will likely find yourself thinking of people you’ve met as you engage with these characters. 

Two chapters go deep into the characteristics of and the inner life of a narcissistic pastor. Again, DeGroat has illuminating stories of pastors and how that narcissism plays out in the role of a pastor. If you have ever experienced a narcissistic pastor these chapters will likely ring true and may be helpful for you in your healing process. Essentially DeGroat says to us, you aren’t crazy, that’s how it is like to interact with a narcissist, and here is what was going on in the narcissist that led to your experience.

Chapter 6 looks at narcissistic systems, churches that are either narcissistic themselves or have become narcissistic as a result of a narcissistic pastor. Simply removing a narcissistic pastor often doesn’t fix the problem as the dynamics in the church have to be reworked to become healthy again. You will likely find yourself reflecting on your own church experiences and dysfunctional systems in a new way. Again, I found DeGroat naming the dysfunction helpful to me as I reflect on my own church experiences.

There are two chapters that look at spiritual and emotional abuse in the church as well as steps that can be taken to heal personally and heal churches that have suffered under narcissistic leadership. DeGroat names the dynamics, abuses, and dysfunctions, but also has eyes of hope for the work of healing and restoration that God wants to bring to those who are suffering. The recovery and healing process is not easy, but DeGroat outlines the way forward towards new life. DeGroat has a pastoral heart and does an excellent job of naming the sin and brokenness but also the hope and healing work that God is at work doing. 

I found Chapter 9, Transformation for Narcissists (Is Possible) to be moving and deeply affecting. As a spiritual director, I get to sit with people and experience God’s heart for them, in all kinds of life situations. In this chapter, DeGroat models the ability to sit with narcissists holding the destructiveness of their behavior but also seeing them as beloved children of God, holding out hope for the slow, hard work of being transformed and growing into more of the fullness of who God has created them to be. 

This is such a gift to us as we reckon with narcissism, but also to us as we seek to be human, Christian, and embody God’s love in this broken world. Deep down we all want to be seen, known and cared for in this way. Thank you, Chuck, for this gift you have given us. I can already tell that I’m going to be reading this chapter many times. 

It’s been one week since I finished reading this wonderful book and this book continues to live with me. I find myself reflecting on my own false self more and what it would be like to bring more of it into the light. I’m already considering what pastors and churches I will recommend reading this book. This book will be an ongoing resource for me as I walk with pastors, church leaders and congregations as a spiritual director, and I think for many will receive this book as an enduring gift for the health and wholeness of the church.  

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In Everything (including Coronavirus) Turn Towards Jesus

In Everything (including Coronavirus) Turn Towards Jesus. Right now, right where you are, turn towards Jesus and welcome his loving presence. Let him meet you in the very place that you are. That’s the first step in what Jesus wants to do in your situation, whether that situation is Coronavirus or something else. And keep turning towards him.

In everything (including Coronavirus) turn towards Jesus.

The Lord’s deep desire for us is that we receive his love. God is always looking upon each of us personally with a loving gaze, and we are invited to return his gaze and receive his love. So many things in our lives and in our world are broken (such as Coronavirus), not as God intends. But God is always at work, seeking redemption, bringing good out of evil. 

Jesus meets us right where we are. There is no need to be somewhere else in order to receive him. Often the first step in his redemption, in the midst of the brokenness and pain is that we turn towards Jesus and his love. Perhaps nothing in our situation has materially changed except we now notice his presence, experience his loving care. We are not alone. Jesus is right there with us and that changes everything. 

But where are we? Sometimes before we can know his presence with us we have to acknowledge the reality of where we are. We may be too busy reacting to or avoiding what we are facing that we can’t be present to the reality of our situation and to the Lord’s presence with us in that place. So where are you right now? What are you facing? What is your situation? 

Right now the Coronavirus may be a significant part of your situation. Are you sick? Are you afraid? Are you worried about your elderly parents? Has your kids’ school been closed? Is your job or your business at risk or your retirement plan evaporating? Are you separated from loved ones? Is your church canceling services or changing how it operates? Has your vacation been canceled or are you self quarantined in your house? Does it feel like the world is falling apart? Where are you?

As a spiritual director I want to encourage you. Here and now, right where you are, turn towards Jesus and welcome his loving presence. Let him meet you in the very place that you are. That’s the first step in what Jesus wants to do in your situation, whether that situation is Coronavirus or something else. And keep turning towards him. How will he care for you? What will he invite you to do in response? Where does he call you to love and serve? How will he involve you in his redemptive work in this world? Stay connected, always turning to him in whatever situation you are in.

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Faithful Aging: Responding to God's Call in Retirement Years

I’m grateful for Anna and Simeon, Roy and Susie. May their number increase! May we be inspired to offer our lives to the Lord in similar ways. May we who are younger become Anna and Simeon in our generation. May we hear from the Lord, “well done, good and faithful servants.”

When Jesus was born there were people in Jerusalem who were longing for a savior, who lived faithful lives of service and expectation. Two of these people were Anna and Simeon (Luke 2:25-38). Anna was a widow who became familyless and lived her life praying and serving in the temple. Simeon was a faithful man who was filled with the Holy Spirit, who was told by God that he would not die before seeing the messiah. Both of them are there when Jesus is brought to be baptized and after years of faithful serving and waiting, they receive the joy of meeting Jesus. God received the gift of their humble, faithful lives and said in a way, “well done, good and faithful servants.” 

Simeon en Anna -Jan van 't Hoff

Simeon en Anna -Jan van 't Hoff

Our society provides us many examples of elders who are not like Anna and Simeon, who put their energy and longing elsewhere, who focus on themselves and live for comfort and pleasure. We need Anna and Simeon as role models, to show us a different possibility. For those of us who are middle-aged or younger, Anna and Simeon provide us wonderful examples of what it means to age well, to live out our lives yearning for and seeking the Lord. May we all become elders like Anna and Simeon. 

And so I ask, is it possible? What does this look like in our time and place? Who are the elders today who are like Anna and Simeon? Who do we know who live like this, giving their lives to the Lord, serving in humble devotion? Have a look at your church, open your eyes and you will likely see them. 

At my church, we have a wonderful couple, who embody Anna and Simeon in so many ways. Roy and Susie Wong. Roy and Susie are retirees who have not retired in the Lord. For years, Roy has volunteered as the bookkeeper for the church as well as several other ministries. For many years, Susie has been an elder, served on the session, has been in charge of setting up the paraments and communion elements at church, and has made the liturgical banners, always ensuring they are set up properly for the liturgical season. Additionally, Susie volunteers her time providing health care counseling for seniors and those in poverty. 

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Roy and Susie

Filled with joy in the sanctuary

Together, they host small groups in their home, mentor those joining the church and constantly find ways to give and serve, behind the scenes, humbly and with little fanfare. When the church started a school, they were there, providing countless hours, doing things like accounting, providing snacks, tutoring, and leading learning labs. They do so many things that it seems like they “never leave the temple,” serving and praying night and day, just like Anna. 

I sense that the Lord delights in Roy and Susie, that the Lord receives their love, service, and devotion. He says to them, “well done, good and faithful servants.”

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Roy at work

Preparing the snacks for Rise University Preparatory!

I’m grateful for Anna and Simeon, Roy and Susie. May their number increase! May we be inspired to offer our lives to the Lord in similar ways. May we who are younger become Anna and Simeon in our generation. May we long for the Lord’s salvation and experience that salvation breaking into our lives. May we hear from the Lord, “well done, good and faithful servants.”

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

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Praying With Pain: Thoughts From Spiritual Direction

But God is a redeemer and always seeks to bring good out of evil. God wants to use your pain for good. So how can God be at work in and through your pain? Here are some thoughts:

Praying With Pain: Thoughts From Spiritual Direction

The human body is fragile, and when we are injured or sick, we struggle with pain.  Whether we may be experiencing acute pain or chronic pain it affects us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Let me be clear, pain is not good; it’s not a blessing. Pain is terrible. If you are suffering physical pain, as a disciple seeking to follow God, you can assume that the pain is not from God and God is not punishing you. It’s the evil one who wants you to believe that God is punishing you with this pain, and the evil one will look for any opportunity to use your pain to discourage you and separate you from God. 

But God is a redeemer and always seeks to bring good out of evil. God wants to use your pain for good. So how can God be at work in and through your pain? Here are some thoughts:

  1. If you are in pain tell God about it. Pour out your heart to him; express your emotion. You may even find you are angry with God about this pain. It’s fine to be angry with God. God already knows and invites you to tell him. Tell him and then listen, have a dialogue with God.  See what happens. By your conversation, you will be connecting with God in the midst of pain. The evil one hates that. 

  2. Pray for healing. Bring your need before God. Experience your need for God and cry out to him. God does not always heal, but you are encouraged to pray for healing and to see what healing he brings. If the Lord does heal you, receive it as a gift and give him praise.

  3. This is a bit mystical, but you can ask Jesus to take your pain and merge it with the pain he felt on the cross, to let your pain become a sharing in his pain on the cross. Now your pain connects you even more deeply with Jesus.

  4. You may find that in your pain you have been struggling to pray. You may have gone many days without having your regular prayer time. Maybe it’s been a whole week since your last prayers... wonderful!  Now we get to ask... Does God love you less? Of course not! You may be disappointed or ashamed of your lack of prayer, but God is not disappointed in you. You have an opportunity to know that God does not love you for your performance.  You have not been praying and still, God is loving you.

  5. Having a life of prayer is hard. Life happens and the realities of our lives make prayer difficult.  The evil one would want you to give up. Instead, pick up your prayer again as you are able. In the midst of your pain, would you rather be close to him and experience his love or be distant and feel unloved?

  6. Let God lead you. These are a few suggestions, but God at work in you knows what you need. God is very present to you and knows what you are suffering. Open yourself and let God meet you, let God speak the words you need to hear, to be present to you and to show you love. Let God reveal how he will use this experience of pain to lead you closer to him.

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.

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Offering Our Failure to the Lord

Most of what we hold back from God are the parts of ourselves we are not proud of, the parts we try to suppress or eliminate from our lives. We don’t give our failure to God. We don’t give our fear, our doubt, our anger, our resentment to the Lord. 

In part one of this series I reflected on some of the ways we typically respond to failure and noted that the gospel is not that we never fail, but that God meets us in and through our failures. In part 2 of this series, I looked at failure as an opportunity for us to find our true identity in God and failure as an opportunity for God to free us from the shame that plagues us. In this final reflection, I will explore the invitation to abandon ourselves to the Lord as a response to failure.

When failure comes crashing down upon us, when our efforts seem to come to nothing, we are invited to abandon ourselves completely to the Lord. In times of failure, we experience our weakness and our need for God. We were not created to be heroic individuals. We were not created to be heroic communities. We were created to be humble people who give ourselves completely to God. 

Unfortunately, when we are experiencing failure, we typically don’t feel like giving ourselves to God. We believe that we should be giving ourselves to God in success. When we have failed we don’t believe that God would want us in our state of failure. Why would God want damaged goods like us? Who are we in failure that God would desire us? We would prefer to make a glorious offering of ourselves. And yet God loves us and welcomes us even in our failure. We are invited to give ourselves completely to God.

Many of us are aware that we don’t give ourselves completely to God, we may desire to, we may try to, but we know that there are significant parts of ourselves that are not given over to God. We don’t see that most of what we hold back from God are the parts of ourselves we are not proud of, the parts we try to suppress or eliminate from our lives. We don’t give our failure to God. We don’t give our fear, our doubt, our anger, our resentment to the Lord. 

What would happen if we gave these parts of ourselves completely to God? For one thing, we would be a lot more given over to God. Secondly, God would rejoice and delight to have these beloved parts of ourselves brought back and offered to him. We often underestimate how much God loves us, that God loves all of us, and that God particularly loves these parts of ourselves we have held back. 

Giving our failure to God also allows God to be at work in those areas we have so long withheld from him. God wants to redeem all parts of us, bring each part individually and together as a whole person, into the healing light of his love and grace. What freedom we receive when we offer ourselves more completely to him, allowing his love and grace to allow us to accept our own humanity, our true identity as beloved children of God. 

And so I leave you with this question… In what way is the Lord inviting you to offer your failure to him?


© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

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5 Prayer Resources from the Ignatian Exercises

I offer 5 resources from the Ignatian Exercises to sustain a joyful prayer life.

Since doing the Ignatian Exercises a couple of years ago, Ignatian prayer continues to be central to my relationship with God. There are so many resources that are now available to me, that draw me close to the heart of God.  I'll name 5.

  1. I know that God is always looking at me with a gaze of love and I get to look at him and receive it. This can take 2 seconds, or I could spend 20 minutes, and it doesn’t need to happen in my devotional time.  It can happen throughout the day.

  2. I am always welcomed to have a heart to heart with Jesus. I can speak to Jesus as a friend, and tell him what is on my heart and mind and spirit.  Jesus listens with compassion. I can listen to what he may say to me in return

  3. There is great value in stopping periodically in and at the end of each day (Examen) to remember God, to see God’s work and my openness to it, and to discern the spirits at work in and through me. This allows me to recognize what God is doing and is the beginning of discernment.

  4. Having experienced some of how Jesus sees and responds to others I am invited to see others through Jesus' eyes. This changes how I see and how I relate to people. It also turns relationships with others into a way to connect with Jesus, as together with him, I see through his eyes.

  5. The closing prayer of the Exercises (the Suscipe) is an opportunity to offer myself completely to God. I am welcomed to offer all of myself, even those parts I am not proud of. Giving myself completely to God makes me more open to his work and increases the terrain of freedom in my life. It allows me to be more dependent upon him and receive everything as gift, sustained by his love and grace.

I’m grateful for the gift of life that Jesus offers us.  Let us receive it with joy.

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

These reflections were inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.

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Failure as Spiritual Opportunity

When we open ourselves to Jesus in the midst of our failure, Jesus takes our shame away. To be freed from shame is such joy. We may discover that through our failure we are now closer to Jesus.

This is the second in a series of posts on failure.

In my first post, The False Path of Failure, I reflected on some of the ways that fear of failure becomes an obstacle in our spiritual lives. I suggested that the good news is that though we are failures, God loves us and meets us in our failure. But let’s be honest, we have a hard time hearing that good news. Instead, when we face failure, we are devastated, discouraged, we feel hopeless. We wanted so much to feel like we are successful, but now we have failed.

Failure and identity

It’s hard to personally come to terms with our failure. We’ve fashioned a false identity of success for ourselves and now that false identity comes crashing down which has shielded us from the truth of reality. And we are terrified of the truth. What if we are a failure? What if we are worthless? How will we live with ourselves?

We may find ourselves taking on a new identity, a failure identity, one of discouragement and self flagellation, but that also is a false identity. And we may cycle from our success identity to our failure identity and then back again, never knowing our true identity.

There is a truth about our identity for us to discover. We are neither awesome successes or terrible failures. We are human beings, flawed and sinful creatures, but also beloved, gifted, children of God. That is the truth of reality; that is our true identity. God loves us and sees us just as we are, the good and the bad, the gifts and the flaws, the holy and the sinful. God always sees us as we truly are, in all our complexity, while we keep constructing false images or identities.

But when we fail, the Lord sees it as an opportunity to strip away some of our false identity and show us a glimpse of who we really are. God takes failure and turns it into an opportunity for good. In failure, we recognize our need for God. We turn to Jesus. We confess our frailty, or brokenness and our sin. When Jesus meets us he looks us straight in the eyes and pronounces us beloved. In the midst of our failure, we are invited to see ourselves through his eyes, to experience his love, his care, the truth about who we are.

What a gift! When we see ourselves truthfully, we can relax. We don’t have to strive. We can rest in being known and loved and accompanied by the living God, “for in him we live and move and have our being” -Acts 17:28

Failure and Shame

Failure is not only a personal thing, but it’s also a social thing. When we experience failure, we typically feel shame. When we fail, we want to hide from others because we don’t want them to see us as failures. Shame may be the thing we dread most about failure. Wherever failure goes, shame follows close behind

Jesus is not deterred by our shame; Jesus sees it as an opportunity. Jesus has borne the cross on our behalf, taking it’s shame upon himself, taking our same upon himself. We may want to hide in shame from him, but once again, Jesus looks us straight in the eyes and is not ashamed of us. He calls us friend. He lifts us up from the dust and restores our souls. He invites himself to our house like Zaccheaus. He touches us when we feel unclean. He smiles and welcomes us into his kingdom, where the last shall be first, where the meek shall inherit the earth, where the Lord is close to the lowly.

When we open ourselves to Jesus in the midst of our failure, Jesus takes our shame away. To be freed from shame is such joy. We may discover that through our failure we are now closer to Jesus.

Sometimes we are freed from shame and it never returns, but many times we experience it coming back upon us in the days to come. But having experienced Jesus embrace us in our failure, we now see that the shame is not from the Lord. It is a temptation, a snare of the evil one, who wants us buried in shame and back in our false identities. We begin to notice shame as it begins to work on us and we have the opportunity once again to open ourselves to Jesus, to let him meet us in the midst of failure.

If you struggle to open yourself to the Lord in the midst of failure, consider meeting with a spiritual director. In spiritual direction you can explore failure in a deeper way and find ways to let failure draw you close to Jesus.

Stay tuned for part three of this series on failure coming soon, as I explore the theme of abandoning ourselves to the Lord as a response to failure.

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

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Poem: By Your Wounds

Such blessed suffering you give me

That by your wounds I am healed

By Your Wounds

There you are, wounded in your person

Drawing me close to you

To join myself with you

You open my heart and I weep

To see you afflicted, mortal, suffering

I am stricken

Then I am on fire

All my wounds blazing

Burning, overwhelming my senses

I did not come here for this

I came for you, not my woundedness

Jesus, you can’t help it, can you

Always there for me

Seeking my good, even in your time of trial

“Come closer,” you say

Bring my wounds close to yours

uniting them together

Sorrow and love flow mingled down all around me

And you say this is the beginning of my restoration

Mending what’s broken

Redeeming the losses

Making things right

Such blessed suffering you give me

That by your wounds I am healed

© Dale Gish 2019. All Rights Reserved.

This prayer was inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. If you are interested in praying the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius with me starting in September, please contact me.

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